Thursday, 5 February 2009

Lawyer Jokes


Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!


Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.


Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.


Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.


Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.


Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.


Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.



Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of $%!*?
A: The bucket.


Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.


Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.


Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his @$%.


Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary


Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.


Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Heck, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

No comments: